Do Less: 10 Annoying Couples Ruining Your Facebook News Feed Daily

It is a widely-accepted fact that the only thing more annoying than overly-affectionate couples in real life are overly-affectionate couples on Facebook.

These couples haunt your every online move.

They’re there during every lunchtime stalking session and they’re there during every casual evening scroll, confirming their unending love for each other, one annoying status at a time.

Though, to be clear, the statuses are just the tip of the very annoying Facebook-relationship-themed iceberg.

When it comes to Facebook couple faux pas, there are a few things that just need to stop:

1. Couples that make joint Facebook accounts

First of all, who gets custody of Facebook if the two of you break up? Second of all, whose birthday is June 17?

Or, should I assume you both share a birthday as well as a personality and a Facebook page?


2. The couple that really should just save that sh*t for text messages

Good night texts, I understand. The need to post goodnight messages on each other’s Facebook walls, I’m not so sure about.

You announce things through Facebook statuses that you could easily tell each other privately. “I had the best night ever with my baby.”

Um peer over to your phone for a moment; is that not him right there? Great, now say it to him and get off my newsfeed.


3. The over-sharers

You know everything from where their last date was, to what she wore to how they got there.

In fact, thanks to the array of pictures and statuses, you kind of feel like a third and very unwilling participant to their relationship.


4. The kissing selfie couples

The only thing harder than enduring these photos in my newsfeed is enduring the array of hashtags that come with them.

#Cute #Couple #InLove #MyBoyfriendIsSuchAHottie #LuckiestGirlInTheWorld


5. The couples that celebrates every “monthiversary” with a photo collage.

I don’t know why InstaCollage was created, but for the love of God, this can’t be it.

If you want to celebrate a monthly milestone of your relationship, please do so privately.

I am willing to hear about your anniversary once a year, which is the same courtesy I extend not only to other couples, but to my own relationships, too.


6. The wedding status whores

Great. Now I’m going to have to like this just so I don’t seem bitter.


7. The on-again-off-again couple

You’ve changed your relationship status more times than Justin Bieber’s been on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.”

Yes, everyone argues, but the rest of us have the decency to at least try to hide it from the rest of the world.


8. The “I can’t believe I’m dating my best friend” couples

Because let me tell you, your actual best friend who just read that, (the one who held your hair while you vomited up your first tequila shot, and the very same one who helped you pick an outfit for your first date with this dude) is not impressed.


9. Couples that uses “bae” when referring to each other.

I want it to end.


10. Couples that comment on every single one of each other’s photos, in case anyone missed the fact they are a couple.

We get it; you are in love and you want to make sure any “single” people who come across your other half’s Facebook page know it.

When it comes to over-sharing couples on Facebook, if you’re single, it’s a little nauseating and if you’re in a relationship, they start to make you wonder if you’re coupling correctly.

The truth is, Facebook couples make us die a little inside because while we’re busy judging them, they’re too busy being too in love to even care.

Though, in all fairness, my issue isn’t so much their inability to go five minutes without clogging up my newsfeed with their love, but rather the fact we all know they’re not doing it for the benefit of their boyfriend or girlfriend, but for the benefit of everyone else.

Do Less: 10 Annoying Couples Ruining Your Facebook News Feed Daily

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The 9 Ridiculously Annoying Things Single Girls Always Say To Their Friends In Relationships

The thing about dating someone, is that everyone has someone to say about it. Your family, your friends, even your Facebook acquaintances have an opinion on the matter and they’re damn sure going to share it with you. One way or another.

Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship has its perks. But if Ross and Rachel have taught us anything it’s that relationships… can be hard.

One minute it’s all:
Ross Rachel Romance Gif Kissing Friends

And next thing you know it’s:
Ross We Were on a break phoebe rachel friends gif relationships

Then somewhere between contemplating why he’s yet to introduce you to his mum and wondering if you crazy kids are going to survive his Summer holiday to Marbella, you also have the added annoyance of your friends. Who are always so supportive during dates 1, 2 and 3 and then proceed to become subtle hecklers throughout the remainder of the relationship.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let’s see if any of these sound familiar:

1. “When’s the wedding”roll eyes gif

Somewhere between the three and seven month mark, the wedding jibes begin. “I can’t wait till you’re married” and “can I be your bridesmaid” as if the prospect of dating in your twenties without the deep and desperate desire for a bit of Tiffany bling on your finger is preposterous.

2. “OMG You’re going on holiday together? He’s definitely going to propose”
Emma Watson Smoking Stressing me Out gif

According to your friends: you’re going to dinner? He’s going to propose. You’re going on holiday? He’s going to propose. He pauses too long outside H.Samuel one day, he’s going to propose.

They’re probably just trying to prove to you that they’re cool as a cucumber about the fact you’re settling down and they’re still on Tinder. Not that that makes it any less annoying.

3. “You’ve changed”
Heidi The Hills Spencer Change People GIF

Dating someone is kind of a change.

You have to make some time in your already busy schedule to see another person. You sometimes have to make compromises about things you really don’t want to compromise on. And every now and then you have to pretend to be a little more angelic than you actually are.

But then leaving University changes you, getting a new job changes you even going on holiday changes you. Life is full of changes and everything would be a lot easier if everyone just accepted that change is not always a bad thing.

4. “What do you have to be miserable about? You have someone”
single girls relationships orange country housewives gif

Stressed about work? About the fact you have no money? About the fact you’re parents want to start charging you rent, which is preposterous because lets face it, if you could afford rent you’d have moved out by now.

Well you’re worries aren’t all that important, because at least you’re in love. Their worries are greater because on top of all the above, they have to worry about the fact the guy they went on a date with 3 days ago still hasn’t text.

5. “Why are you going gym… you HAVE a man, you don’t need to impress anyone”
relationship weight gain food icecream gif

It is a common belief among the single that if you’re in a steady relationship you no longer have to shave, wax, worry about your weekly burger consumption or so much as put mascara on before venturing out the house.

A word to the wise, it’s that kind of thinking that gets you thrown back into the single pool. Go sort that bikini line out, he loves you, but that doesn’t mean he loves your excess hair.

Not to mention that implying you don’t need to go to the gym once you’re in a relationship, is like implying that you only need to be attractive to secure a man. And don’t even get me started about what I think of that.

6. “You don’t understand… you have someone”
parks and rec april angry gif

Your single friend goes on a bad date and proceeds to act like it’s the end of the world, so you do the only thing a best friend knows how to do. Tell her that he was a douche and that she’ll meet someone better soon.

If you were single she would appreciate your advice. But because you’re not you get verbally slapped with the “you don’t get it… you have someone”. As though the three consecutive years of singleness that preceded your relationship no longer count.

7. “But you saw him last weekend…”
Notebook somebody gets hurt gif alley

Erm, I don’t know if you’re aware but being in a relationship is kind of a weekly deal.

The real dating struggle is time management. Making time for your friends and your boyfriend and hoping to God no important events clash on the same Saturday night, because if they do you’re screwed one way or the other. Pick your friends and it’s “you’re always picking your friends over me”. Pick your boyfriend and it’s “but you were out with him last week”.

8. “Does he have any single friends… Maybe we should double date”
Robin how i met your mother double date gif humour fire

“OMG set me up”. Seems lovely in theory, you and your bestie, dating besties. In reality it probably won’t work out and you’ll have to deal with your friends hating his friends for the rest of your relationship.

9. “Girls in relationships never go out any more”
big fat lie gif orange county

Single girl logic:

If a single girl doesn’t go out because she’s broke… she hasn’t gone out because she’s broke. If a girl in a relationship doesn’t go our because she’s broke… she hasn’t gone out because she has a boyfriend.

Slap a bitch blonde cougar town gif

So in the single vs taken divide, let’s set the record straight. Being alone can sometimes be dull and sometimes be fabulous. Same goes with dating someone. So maybe the best thing to do, is not base happiness on whether you have someone or not, but on all the other things in life, which don’t evolve around a man.

The post The 9 Ridiculously Annoying Things Single Girls Always Say To Their Friends In Relationships appeared first on Xclusive Touch.

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