9 Signs You’ve Become The Jealous Girlfriend Type You Used To Judge

Take a seemingly normal and sane woman and pair her with a player. It’s only a matter of time before she becomes a little unhinged.

The irony of this is that prior to said unhinging, other females, who sent 17 messages in a row to men they dated, were objects of formerly sane woman’s conversational ridicule.

The fact of the matter is, every girl makes fun of other clingy girls — until she becomes one.

When it comes to relationships, some men bring out the best in us, and others bring out the absolute worst.

Whilst I don’t like to place blame (as every relationship differs), I don’t think it’s entirely unfair to say that when a girl likes a guy who is sending mixed signals, it can often result in extreme and irrational female behavior.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let’s see if this rings a bell. Possible signs include:

1. Checking his WhatsApp more than 30 times a day to see if he’s online.

Let’s set the record straight: Just because you are dating someone and technology permits it does not mean you need to be in contact with each other every waking moment of the day.

If you both replied to each other’s texts instantaneously, you’d have very little time for anything else.

Despite what you may believe, if a man doesn’t reply to your text, his phone hasn’t spontaneously started to reject your messages.

He didn’t accidentally block your number and I’m pretty certain he didn’t “reply but forget to press send.” He got your text; he just can’t reply right now, or simply doesn’t want to.

Stop checking if he’s online, as it’s of no consequence whether or not he is. He will reply when he can talk.


2. You know every girl’s username who has ever commented on one of his Instagram pictures.

And, you stalk them on a regular basis.


3. You’re obsessed with which one of you has the “power” in the relationship.

You create imaginary plans on nights he wants to meet up so you’re not “too available,” and you take note, down to the minute, how long it takes for him to reply to your texts.

Then, you wait even longer to reply to his, so he doesn’t think he’s affecting you. After all, everyone knows the person who cares the least in a relationship is the one who has the power.

Whilst some girls think this is a dating norm, I think the “he took an hour to reply, so I’ll take an hour and ten minutes” is an unhealthy start to any relationship.

In the world of dating, there’s nothing wrong with replying when you’re free, not based around any schedule.


4.You find yourself casually driving past his house to see if he’s home.

Also known as level-one stalking. What do you intend to do if he sees you? Roll your window down and wave? I think not.

Reverse back into your drive and abort mission.


5. You regularly visit his friends’ Facebook walls for any incriminating evidence from their last night out.

You contemplate adding them, in order to gain greater access to his life outside of you.


6. Every time he takes his phone to the toilet with him, you’re convinced it’s because he has something to hide.

It doesn’t occur to you he may just want to scroll through his Instagram feed while on the toilet.

You make it your mission to manage some time alone with his phone so you can hunt for any incriminating evidence.


7. You’ve lied about an ex messaging you to make him jealous.

Because there’s nothing like a bit of jealousy to bring the spark back into the relationship.

There is, of course, a more logical side of you that knows this is wrong, but that side is easily silenced. You tell yourself you need proof he cares and using a little white lie to get it isn’t a big deal.

Not to play devil’s advocate, but it’s usually best to ignore the side of your brain that wants to use lies as a means of relationship progression.

It may start with a little fabrication about an ex, but where will it end? Probably with a false pregnancy scare and too many lies for you to keep track of.


8. You contemplate creating a fake Facebook profile of another woman with which to seduce him.

You know. Just to check and see if he’ll remain faithful.


9. You spend hours analyzing things he says and does with your friends.

If I’ve learned anything from relationships, it’s that when more than two people are involved, disasters ensue.

It’s impossible for your friends to give you unbiased opinions because more often than not, your account of his actions alone is one-sided.

Not to mention, your friends only see a tiny portion of your relationship, so any advice they give you should be taken with a grain of salt and not be considered gospel.

Nothing fuels irrational female behavior like out-of-context advice from other females.

Though, since we’re on the topic of advice, it won’t do any harm to mention that if your relationship causes this level of irate behavior, there’s a chance it may not be the right relationship for you.

9 Signs You’ve Become The Jealous Girlfriend Type You Used To Judge

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The 9 Bunny Boiler Moves Every Woman Makes When She’s Being Ignored

Nothing makes a women more mentally imbalanced than having to wait by her phone for a text. And the longer it takes to get a reply, the more irrational we seem to become.

The first port of call is always the ‘best friend’ who is on hand with logical advice which you totally intend on ignoring. “Maybe he’s busy, or at work. Maybe his phone ran out of battery, or he’s testing you to see if you’ll go nuts. Try not to think about it, he’ll text back soon”.

And you’re nodding like:

Jennifer Anniston Nodding

But then as soon as you’re left to your own devices, all that great advice somehow gets forgotten and you’re back to trying to come up with your own brilliant ideas for making him text back faster.

For the record, cross the following off your “maybe I should” list because trust me you shouldn’t. That is, unless you have been given any indication that this particular gentleman is slightly turned on by clingy and or desperate women.

1. Don’t Send Him 7 Increasingly Hysterical Texts Over 2 Days.
Crazy Girls Clingy GIF

Despite what you want to allow yourself to believe, his phone hasn’t spontaneously started to reject your messages. He didn’t accidentally block your number and I’m pretty certain he didn’t “reply but forget to press send”.

Whatever your logic, it’s wrong. He got your text, he just can’t reply right now, or simply doesn’t want to. Sending more texts is unlikely to help.

And for the record, re-sending the same message again is also pretty ridiculous. “Oh maybe he’ll think my phone just sent it twice accidentally”. Yes, maybe. Or, maybe he’ll think you’re insane.

2. Don’t Leave A Voice Mail
Awkward Gif phone call clingy

Cute voicemails are only cute when they aren’t preceded by three unanswered texts. If he’s ignoring you and you’re leaving adorable messages for him, you just seem a little desperate. And I was being nice when I said “a little”.

3. Do Not Get Your Friend To Call Him From Unknown Number
Mean Girls GIF

Classic girl move. After obsessing over the fact he hasn’t replied, you decide to put him through the “does he have his phone with him” test. Of course he’s with his phone! Is there anyone in this day and age who spends more than an hour apart from their beloved smart phone? Unless he was mugged (unlikely) he has his phone with him.

So if your plan is to call him from an unknown number, then act enraged when he picks up, I’m telling you, save those unlimited minutes and don’t bother. Whatever the reason for his silence, it is not that he is phone-less.

4. Don’t Drunk Dial
Closure Friends Rachel

Don’t call him after three glasses of wine to tell him what an idiot he is. You’re going for class and sophistication, not desperation and alcoholism.

By all means have your wine fest, go ahead and drunkenly bitch to your friends about what a “child” he’s being, but first put your phone somewhere, where drunk you can’t reach it. Sadly, “it wasn’t me, it was the vodka” is rarely accepted as an adequate excuse for drunk dialing.

5. DO NOT DO A DRIVE BY HIS HOUSE
Cher clueless oopst car drive

This move is also known as the “what the f*** is he doing, that he can’t stop for two seconds and text me back?”

First I must ask you, what possible difference could his location make to this situation? The beauty of mobile technology, is that it really doesn’t matter where the hell he is.

Secondly, what do you intend to do if he sees you? Roll your window down and wave? I think not… reverse back into your drive and abort mission.

6. Do Not Inbox Him On Facebook To Ask If He Got Your Texts
Phoebe Friends Stop The Madness Facebook

“Hey babe, did you get my text” roughly translates to “Hey babe, I’ve been sitting by my phone for 13 hours and if you don’t reply soon, I’m going to have an emotional meltdown and change my Facebook status to It’s Complicated“.

Don’t be that girl.

7. Don’t Try To “Casually” Bump Into Him
Barney Crazy Happenstance

What’s that? He tweeted that he was going to the pub and you just happened to bump into him there? This ones a total mystery, surely he’ll never put two and two together! That is, unless he didn’t have a partial lobotomy earlier that day.

8. Don’t Like All His Instagram Pictures While You Wait For A Reply
Britney hot

Pandering to his ego won’t help. Your 3 texts in a row already made it obvious that you like him. I promise you the issue is that you haven’t made your feelings clear enough.

9. Don’t Message His Friends To Ask Him To “Call You”
Call me

Because the only thing worse than him thinking you’re a bit clingy, is his friends thinking it too. Men who lack their own opinions, tend to just develop those of their friends. Plus, if he isn’t texting you, it’s unlikely his friends will take your side instead of his. When it comes to getting his boys involved… avoid avoid avoid.

I know you have images of them going back to him with a “why aren’t you texting her, she’s such a nice girl”. But guys don’t do that. The closest you’ll get is: “how did that chick you’re dating get my number?”

So now we’ve gone through what you can’t do, here’s what you can: Stop starring at your phone, stop checking to see if you’ve lost signal, stop asking your friends to text you to test if they’re coming through. Go out, enjoy your life.

I guarantee he’ll reply eventually, usually with a half baked excuse which you may or may not choose to believe, that parts totally up to you.

 


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