If you are a serial dater who never gets much further than date one or two, we can probably come to a couple of conclusions:
1) You’re attractive and potentially clever enough to get asked out on a date in the first place;
2) somewhere between getting asked out and awkwardly arguing over who pays the bill, you did something to put your date off.
Don’t get me wrong; if you don’t get asked out on a second date, it could just be you’re out of this person’s league, he or she didn’t understand your incredibly witty repertoire, or this person had to vacate the country due to some sort of legal issue he or she chose to keep hidden from you.
Or, it could be something much simpler than that.
There is a chance that whatever initial attraction these dates had for you quickly disappeared due to something you did.
As unlikely as you might think this is, perhaps, it’s best to look at some options:
1. You’re Too Quick To Point Out Your Flaws
You are a classic self-deprecator. Whether you’re self-conscious about your weight, your car or your career, you’re quick to point out these so-called flaws to your date.
In turn, you make yourself seem insecure, which, in many cases, is the biggest put-off of all.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: There’s no woman sexier than the one who is comfortable in her own skin.
2. You’re Too Quick To Write Him Off
Car not nice enough? He lives with his parents? You noticed a girl commented a bit too enthusiastically on his latest profile picture?
Suddenly, you’ve lost interest, and instead of bringing your “A” game to the date, you’ve turned up with an “it was too late to cancel” attitude.
3. You Spend More Time On Your Phone Than On The Date
We get it; you love your iPhone. But, love it on your own time.
If you’re more interested in your Instagram news feed than your date, perhaps you should have stayed at home.
Being on your phone is just bad manners.
Plus, the worst part is, you’ll probably go home and tell your girlfriends the date was “fine,” but the conversation was “dry.”
It did not once occur to you that your constant phone-scrolling is what killed the night.
4. You’re A Classic Braggart
I’m sure your intentions are good. You’re smart, funny, cook and have a fabulous sense of style, and you just want him to know that.
But, sometimes, it’s good to hold things back and let him work it out for himself.
If he spent the entire date talking about his new Audi and how well-paid his job was, you’d probably write him off as arrogant, proving a bit of modesty can go a long way.
You noticed his car without him having to mention it three times, just like he probably noticed your Louboutins without you having to casually-not-so-casually bring them up in conversation.
5. You Mentioned Your Ex One Too Many Times
For the record, on a first date, any mention of your ex is too many mentions. Fair enough, your ex was a prick, but keep it to yourself.
6. You Went Out For Dinner But Didn’t Eat
Men like girls they can eat with, not girls who will watch them eat, while they push around a caesar salad and sip on tap water.
Whatever diet you’re on this month, allow yourself a cheat meal and eat some real food.
7. You Made It A Bit Too Obvious You Were Interested
Desperation is not hot, and when it comes to showing your interest, there is a fine line between flirty and freaky.
A casual “you look nice” is always appreciated on a first date.
He probably got a hair cut and ironed his jeans, and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that it paid off.
Just learn where to draw the line because a “you’re so hot” followed by a “I can’t believe you’re single” and “your body is amazing” will do more damage than good.
Lastly, there is the possibility that you’re just not right for each other.
Of course, the last option is you played the date flawlessly. You are just as fabulous as you think you are, but the two of you just aren’t right for each other.
Wrong time, wrong place, wrong guy. It’s not the end of the world.