7 Potential Explanations You Never Make It Past The First Date

If you are a serial dater who never gets much further than date one or two, we can probably come to a couple of conclusions:

1) You’re attractive and potentially clever enough to get asked out on a date in the first place;

2) somewhere between getting asked out and awkwardly arguing over who pays the bill, you did something to put your date off.

Don’t get me wrong; if you don’t get asked out on a second date, it could just be you’re out of this person’s league, he or she didn’t understand your incredibly witty repertoire, or this person had to vacate the country due to some sort of legal issue he or she chose to keep hidden from you.

Or, it could be something much simpler than that.

There is a chance that whatever initial attraction these dates had for you quickly disappeared due to something you did.

As unlikely as you might think this is, perhaps, it’s best to look at some options:

1. You’re Too Quick To Point Out Your Flaws

You are a classic self-deprecator. Whether you’re self-conscious about your weight, your car or your career, you’re quick to point out these so-called flaws to your date.

In turn, you make yourself seem insecure, which, in many cases, is the biggest put-off of all.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: There’s no woman sexier than the one who is comfortable in her own skin.


2. You’re Too Quick To Write Him Off

Car not nice enough? He lives with his parents? You noticed a girl commented a bit too enthusiastically on his latest profile picture?

Suddenly, you’ve lost interest, and instead of bringing your “A” game to the date, you’ve turned up with an “it was too late to cancel” attitude.


3. You Spend More Time On Your Phone Than On The Date

We get it; you love your iPhone. But, love it on your own time.

If you’re more interested in your Instagram news feed than your date, perhaps you should have stayed at home.

Being on your phone is just bad manners.

Plus, the worst part is, you’ll probably go home and tell your girlfriends the date was “fine,” but the conversation was “dry.”

It did not once occur to you that your constant phone-scrolling is what killed the night.


4. You’re A Classic Braggart

I’m sure your intentions are good. You’re smart, funny, cook and have a fabulous sense of style, and you just want him to know that.

But, sometimes, it’s good to hold things back and let him work it out for himself.

If he spent the entire date talking about his new Audi and how well-paid his job was, you’d probably write him off as arrogant, proving a bit of modesty can go a long way.

You noticed his car without him having to mention it three times, just like he probably noticed your Louboutins without you having to casually-not-so-casually bring them up in conversation.


5. You Mentioned Your Ex One Too Many Times

For the record, on a first date, any mention of your ex is too many mentions. Fair enough, your ex was a prick, but keep it to yourself.


6. You Went Out For Dinner But Didn’t Eat

Men like girls they can eat with, not girls who will watch them eat, while they push around a caesar salad and sip on tap water.

Whatever diet you’re on this month, allow yourself a cheat meal and eat some real food.


7. You Made It A Bit Too Obvious You Were Interested

Desperation is not hot, and when it comes to showing your interest, there is a fine line between flirty and freaky.

A casual “you look nice” is always appreciated on a first date.

He probably got a hair cut and ironed his jeans, and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that it paid off.

Just learn where to draw the line because a “you’re so hot” followed by a “I can’t believe you’re single” and “your body is amazing” will do more damage than good.

Lastly, there is the possibility that you’re just not right for each other.

Of course, the last option is you played the date flawlessly. You are just as fabulous as you think you are, but the two of you just aren’t right for each other.

Wrong time, wrong place, wrong guy. It’s not the end of the world.

7 Potential Explanations You Never Make It Past The First Date

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10 Things We Wish We Could Say On A First Date But Can’t

They say first dates are like job interviews with cocktails, but would it really be so terrible if that were the case?

In a job interview, you can make your expectations of any candidates abundantly clear. You expect them to be punctual at all times and it’s okay to say so.

After you hire them, you put them on a three-month probationary period without any benefits until said trial period is completed.

When it comes to dating, you want all of the same things, only you can’t say them out loud without being judged.

If we could all just be honest about our expectations from the start, we’d save ourselves the time and effort of dating someone with whom we’re just not that compatible.

If everyone said exactly what they wanted on first dates, we’d probably avoid a hell of a lot of time and heartache down the line.

So, why can’t we just say the truth? Here are 10 first-dates sentiment we wish we had the balls to actually express:

1. “I kiss on a first date. If my tongue isn’t in your mouth by 1 am, it means I’m not interested.”

Saying this sure beats spending the next two weeks avoiding his requests for a second date and sending fake, “work is manic” texts, while you eat ice cream with your friends and give them the details of your incredibly awkward date.


2. “I’m probably never going to agree to a threesome. If you date me, that’s off the table, forever.”

Followed by, “In fact, while we’re on the topic of sex, you should know my boobs aren’t actually this big, I’m wearing a super padded bra, sorry.”


3. “We’re not having sex until our seventh date. Yes I will be counting.”

Roughly translated to, “If you’re only here for the good stuff, you better move along because this, right here, is a packaged deal.”


4. “From this moment on, we are exclusive. If you are dating other people, stop.”

Why is that so hard to say? Surely, if you’ve waxed your legs, put on matching underwear and attempted to eat your pizza with a knife and fork, you’ve made enough effort to warrant fidelity while you enjoy a string of biweekly dates.

In exchange, I’m sure that if he’s paying for your chicken parmesan and making an effort not to look directly at your cleavage (despite your purposely low-cut top), he’d appreciate it if you didn’t spend the other five nights of the week with your tongue in someone else’s mouth. I mean, that’s fair, right?


5. “If at any point in our relationship you decide to ask me how many men I’ve slept with, I will be forced to lie.”

Because there is honestly no right answer. Ultimately, your new man doesn’t want to imagine you with your old man (or men), so any number you offer won’t please him.

So, you decide to lie, blurt out a ridiculously low number, which you then proceed to forget and spend the rest of your relationship hoping to God the conversation never comes up again because two years later, you may not remember whatever fictionalized number you gave, but he sure will.


6. “At the end of this date, I’ll offer to pay half the bill. Be aware, it’s a test.”

While us ladies are more than capable of paying for our own mojitos, we’d rather not. At least not until date number two or three, anyway.

Despite our feeble mumblings about being “happy to split the bill,” the fact of the matter is, he should be kind enough to pay on a first date and in return, we will be gracious enough not to order the most expensive thing on the menu.


7. “My ex took two years to introduce me to his mom. That’s not going to fly this time around.”

If we could be honest about where our last relationships went wrong and use our previous grievances as cautionary tales to subsequent lovers, perhaps we could all stop history from repeating itself.

You can tell him that you expect to meet his family on or before your six-month anniversary and he can tell you he expects to spend every Friday night at the gym with his boys without you complaining about it. Just like that, you both know what to expect from each other.

But, alas, ranting about your last boyfriend to your potential future boyfriend is a pretty bad idea.


8. “Speaking of exes… yours isn’t a problem, is she?”

If you have a past, so does he. While your past may be enjoying the “Game of Thrones” box set you brought him, his ex might still be in the picture.

Is it acceptable to ask? Probably not. Do you even want him thinking about her on your first date? No. Is she fully aware that the two of you are out right now? Probably.

If you go to the toilet, will he check his phone only to find seven missed calls from her? You will never know.

Should you consider her competition? Dear God, you hope not.


9. “Do you think I’m as hot in real life as I am in my Instagram pics?”

If you have Instagram and your profile is not on private, he probably had an extensive pre-date scroll and has seen every one of the 172 photos you posted in the last year.

Instagram filters may be our friends when it comes to getting “likes,” but since you can’t walk around with a permanent Valencia filter on your face, there’s always the fear that when he reports back to his friends you’ll be described as “prettier in pictures.”

This is only made worse by the fact that you don’t even think you’re that photogenic in the first place.


10. “Wait… You are looking for a long-term girlfriend, right?”

Just because a boy takes you on a date doesn’t necessarily mean he wants a girlfriend.

But, since asking what his intentions are before you even finish your first meal together might scare him off, it’s best to just avoid the question and hope that your witty personality and dazzling smile are enough to make him eventually want to change his Facebook status to in a relationship (with you).

Admittedly, when it comes to first dates, what we want to say and what is socially acceptable don’t always correlate, but for the sake of romance (and self-preservation) maybe it is best we keep some things to ourselves. At the very least, until he starts to like you.

10 Things We Wish We Could Say On A First Date But Can’t

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Brains v Beauty

First of all, let it be known, I can be pretty stupid sometimes.

Image from: http://www.cellphone-wallpapers.net/

I mean I can’t spell to save my life (in fact I have spell-check to thank for my degree) and just yesterday I had to ask my mum if Capers were those little fish things (turns out I meant sardines). So perhaps I am being slightly liberal by putting myself in the ‘Brains’ category, but for the sake of my argument, lets just go with it.

Now I’ve done my research. And most guys want both: Brains and Beauty. I don’t blame them, hell I agree with them. But let’s be honest sometimes the world’s just not that kind.

When forced to make a choice, general consensus was (insert manly voice here) “brains every time because we love a girl who can carry a conversation”. I can almost hear the world-wide sigh of relief while mascara wands are being put down the nation over. So being able to carry a conversation is sexy now? 1 point to me.

Of course that’s all very well in theory. And I know the female population isn’t exactly divided into two categories ’hot’ or ‘not’. One man’s Angelina Jolie may be another’s Susan Boyle (sorry Susan). But the fact of the matter is I’ve never heard of a model or an actress incapable of finding herself a boyfriend. But a doctor, a nurse, a female comedian? Different matter altogether.

Sometimes we like to flatter ourselves and say that men can’t handle strong opinionated women. But then I remember my mum’s married, and they don’t come much more opinionated than her. So that definitely can’t be the problem.

The real issue is, that the men who claim they don’t like beautiful girls probably feel this way because they think, they’d never be able to get one anyway. As for the rest of them? These men who say they like to be ‘intellectually stimulated’. Well lets face it, when you’re talking to a group of girls on a night out. Which one do you remember? The one with the banter? Or the one with the great face and huge tits? Say it. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. If I was standing next to someone with a face like Jesse Williams, no amount of wit and charm would distract me either.

You see in theory most guys do want a funny girl they can talk football to and argue about which Lord of the Rings film was better. In practically we haven’t evolved all that much from the caveman days. And nothing gets those clubs swinging like a sexy little slave girl who knows her way around the cave. And by cave I mean bedroom.

Of course none of us would ever admit to being this fundamentally shallow. When asked, 90% of us will pick ‘personality’ over ‘looks’ every time. Which is lovely. And would be even lovelier if it were true.

In actuality, pre-marriage, people don’t pick their partners based on their mutual liking for late night spooning sessions and staring into each others eyes. You pick them based on how much of a sexy-beast you’d look, standing next to them. But don’t worry about it. You can all continue to chat up the sexiest girl who’ll listen. And in turn we’ll all continue applying make-up and wearing push up bras and pretending we’re naturally this pretty.

I mean lets face it, when you start dating a new girl, your friends will ask to see a picture of her. Not hear a recent joke she’s told you. And whether you want it to or not, it starts to matter.


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