The thing about dating someone, is that everyone has someone to say about it. Your family, your friends, even your Facebook acquaintances have an opinion on the matter and they’re damn sure going to share it with you. One way or another.
Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship has its perks. But if Ross and Rachel have taught us anything it’s that relationships… can be hard.
Then somewhere between contemplating why he’s yet to introduce you to his mum and wondering if you crazy kids are going to survive his Summer holiday to Marbella, you also have the added annoyance of your friends. Who are always so supportive during dates 1, 2 and 3 and then proceed to become subtle hecklers throughout the remainder of the relationship.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let’s see if any of these sound familiar:
Somewhere between the three and seven month mark, the wedding jibes begin. “I can’t wait till you’re married” and “can I be your bridesmaid” as if the prospect of dating in your twenties without the deep and desperate desire for a bit of Tiffany bling on your finger is preposterous.
According to your friends: you’re going to dinner? He’s going to propose. You’re going on holiday? He’s going to propose. He pauses too long outside H.Samuel one day, he’s going to propose.
They’re probably just trying to prove to you that they’re cool as a cucumber about the fact you’re settling down and they’re still on Tinder. Not that that makes it any less annoying.
Dating someone is kind of a change.
You have to make some time in your already busy schedule to see another person. You sometimes have to make compromises about things you really don’t want to compromise on. And every now and then you have to pretend to be a little more angelic than you actually are.
But then leaving University changes you, getting a new job changes you even going on holiday changes you. Life is full of changes and everything would be a lot easier if everyone just accepted that change is not always a bad thing.
Stressed about work? About the fact you have no money? About the fact you’re parents want to start charging you rent, which is preposterous because lets face it, if you could afford rent you’d have moved out by now.
Well you’re worries aren’t all that important, because at least you’re in love. Their worries are greater because on top of all the above, they have to worry about the fact the guy they went on a date with 3 days ago still hasn’t text.
It is a common belief among the single that if you’re in a steady relationship you no longer have to shave, wax, worry about your weekly burger consumption or so much as put mascara on before venturing out the house.
A word to the wise, it’s that kind of thinking that gets you thrown back into the single pool. Go sort that bikini line out, he loves you, but that doesn’t mean he loves your excess hair.
Not to mention that implying you don’t need to go to the gym once you’re in a relationship, is like implying that you only need to be attractive to secure a man. And don’t even get me started about what I think of that.
Your single friend goes on a bad date and proceeds to act like it’s the end of the world, so you do the only thing a best friend knows how to do. Tell her that he was a douche and that she’ll meet someone better soon.
If you were single she would appreciate your advice. But because you’re not you get verbally slapped with the “you don’t get it… you have someone”. As though the three consecutive years of singleness that preceded your relationship no longer count.
Erm, I don’t know if you’re aware but being in a relationship is kind of a weekly deal.
The real dating struggle is time management. Making time for your friends and your boyfriend and hoping to God no important events clash on the same Saturday night, because if they do you’re screwed one way or the other. Pick your friends and it’s “you’re always picking your friends over me”. Pick your boyfriend and it’s “but you were out with him last week”.
“OMG set me up”. Seems lovely in theory, you and your bestie, dating besties. In reality it probably won’t work out and you’ll have to deal with your friends hating his friends for the rest of your relationship.
Single girl logic:
If a single girl doesn’t go out because she’s broke… she hasn’t gone out because she’s broke. If a girl in a relationship doesn’t go our because she’s broke… she hasn’t gone out because she has a boyfriend.
So in the single vs taken divide, let’s set the record straight. Being alone can sometimes be dull and sometimes be fabulous. Same goes with dating someone. So maybe the best thing to do, is not base happiness on whether you have someone or not, but on all the other things in life, which don’t evolve around a man.
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