9 Signs You’ve Become The Jealous Girlfriend Type You Used To Judge

Take a seemingly normal and sane woman and pair her with a player. It’s only a matter of time before she becomes a little unhinged.

The irony of this is that prior to said unhinging, other females, who sent 17 messages in a row to men they dated, were objects of formerly sane woman’s conversational ridicule.

The fact of the matter is, every girl makes fun of other clingy girls — until she becomes one.

When it comes to relationships, some men bring out the best in us, and others bring out the absolute worst.

Whilst I don’t like to place blame (as every relationship differs), I don’t think it’s entirely unfair to say that when a girl likes a guy who is sending mixed signals, it can often result in extreme and irrational female behavior.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let’s see if this rings a bell. Possible signs include:

1. Checking his WhatsApp more than 30 times a day to see if he’s online.

Let’s set the record straight: Just because you are dating someone and technology permits it does not mean you need to be in contact with each other every waking moment of the day.

If you both replied to each other’s texts instantaneously, you’d have very little time for anything else.

Despite what you may believe, if a man doesn’t reply to your text, his phone hasn’t spontaneously started to reject your messages.

He didn’t accidentally block your number and I’m pretty certain he didn’t “reply but forget to press send.” He got your text; he just can’t reply right now, or simply doesn’t want to.

Stop checking if he’s online, as it’s of no consequence whether or not he is. He will reply when he can talk.


2. You know every girl’s username who has ever commented on one of his Instagram pictures.

And, you stalk them on a regular basis.


3. You’re obsessed with which one of you has the “power” in the relationship.

You create imaginary plans on nights he wants to meet up so you’re not “too available,” and you take note, down to the minute, how long it takes for him to reply to your texts.

Then, you wait even longer to reply to his, so he doesn’t think he’s affecting you. After all, everyone knows the person who cares the least in a relationship is the one who has the power.

Whilst some girls think this is a dating norm, I think the “he took an hour to reply, so I’ll take an hour and ten minutes” is an unhealthy start to any relationship.

In the world of dating, there’s nothing wrong with replying when you’re free, not based around any schedule.


4.You find yourself casually driving past his house to see if he’s home.

Also known as level-one stalking. What do you intend to do if he sees you? Roll your window down and wave? I think not.

Reverse back into your drive and abort mission.


5. You regularly visit his friends’ Facebook walls for any incriminating evidence from their last night out.

You contemplate adding them, in order to gain greater access to his life outside of you.


6. Every time he takes his phone to the toilet with him, you’re convinced it’s because he has something to hide.

It doesn’t occur to you he may just want to scroll through his Instagram feed while on the toilet.

You make it your mission to manage some time alone with his phone so you can hunt for any incriminating evidence.


7. You’ve lied about an ex messaging you to make him jealous.

Because there’s nothing like a bit of jealousy to bring the spark back into the relationship.

There is, of course, a more logical side of you that knows this is wrong, but that side is easily silenced. You tell yourself you need proof he cares and using a little white lie to get it isn’t a big deal.

Not to play devil’s advocate, but it’s usually best to ignore the side of your brain that wants to use lies as a means of relationship progression.

It may start with a little fabrication about an ex, but where will it end? Probably with a false pregnancy scare and too many lies for you to keep track of.


8. You contemplate creating a fake Facebook profile of another woman with which to seduce him.

You know. Just to check and see if he’ll remain faithful.


9. You spend hours analyzing things he says and does with your friends.

If I’ve learned anything from relationships, it’s that when more than two people are involved, disasters ensue.

It’s impossible for your friends to give you unbiased opinions because more often than not, your account of his actions alone is one-sided.

Not to mention, your friends only see a tiny portion of your relationship, so any advice they give you should be taken with a grain of salt and not be considered gospel.

Nothing fuels irrational female behavior like out-of-context advice from other females.

Though, since we’re on the topic of advice, it won’t do any harm to mention that if your relationship causes this level of irate behavior, there’s a chance it may not be the right relationship for you.

9 Signs You’ve Become The Jealous Girlfriend Type You Used To Judge

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Tired Of Being A Sidechick? 9 Steps To Eliminate His Girlfriend

When the guy you like starts dating someone else you have one of two options. You can either stay at home, Facebook and Instagram stalk their relationship and bitch to your friends about the fact she’s “not even that pretty”.

Or you can fight back and get exactly what it is you want: him.

One minute you’re online shopping and subtly stalking your crush on Facebook, the next thing you know his status says “In A Relationship” and you’re wondering if you’d just imagined the last 6 months of mild flirtation between you, that you was so sure were leading up to a first date.

Facebook stalk relationship disaster online laptop miley cyrus gif

This is the point where most women either get drunk, get bitter or get depressed. But not you. Not this time. This time you’re going to do what most girls only dream of. You’re going to break them up and get your man. Because you are meant to be together (even if he doesn’t know it yet).

Now you have a plan, there’s just have the small matter of execution. Roll your sleeves up and prepare to get dirty because if you’re going to eliminate anyone, you need to go Julia Roberts circa My Best Friend’s Wedding level of crazy to pull this off:

Make her your friend (in real life & on Facebook)
Regina Love Ya Gif Mean Girls Fake Friends GIF

You know the saying “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. I’m pretty sure a home-wrecker came up with that.

Don’t try to become her bestie or anything, that would just be weird, but acknowledge her presence; throw her a smile every now and then and send a compliment her way if you have to. You’ll seem like less of a threat, making it easier to carry out the rest of your plan.

Comment on ugly photos of her so they come up on everyone’s Newsfeed
Phone facebook stalk like picture envy girlfriend gif home wrecker

Everyone has one or two tagged but long forgotten ugly photos somewhere on their Facebook page. All you have to do is find them.

A like followed by a classic “aww you look so cute here” will do. Anything to get this photo back in everyone’s timelines and eyesight. Hopefully they’ll be so distracted by the photo that they won’t notice the fact you had to scroll through 768 other pictures to find it.

Text him when you know they’re together…
Paris Hilton Text Gif Okay Envy Break Up

She’s tweeted that she’s staying the night at his? Send him a text in the morning. Nothing flirty and not too early, becayse nothing says “I woke up thinking of you” like a 7am text on a Sunday. Keep it casual and funny.

She’ll be wondering what the hell you have to text him about now. Worst case scenario: He doesn’t reply. Best case scenario: she becomes paranoid and clingy (neither of which are hot qualities in a girl.

Pick up on all the things he moans his girl doesn’t do. And do them.
gretchen mean girls such a good friend crying gif break up dating relationships

After all you’re just being a good friend.

Do the “casual run in”
Pretty girl casual wave hello hi bump into each other casual run in gif

Twitter stalk your little butt off. Find out where he’s going to be on Friday night and casually suggest to your girls to go there.

Stage two: Look fabulous. Take a picture together. Upload it. Wait for them to have an argument about it. Then if he mentions the argument, sweetly offer to take the picture down.

Encourage a close guy friend to start commenting on all her Instagram pictures.
Joey and phoebe friends evil plan laugh gif

It’s important that she remembers that she’s a catch and has loads of options too. In the successful breakdown of a relationship, both parties should have their doubts, so it’s time you planted some of hers.

Plus, there’s a chance that her boyfriend will see this sudden increase of male attention which may cause them to have an argument. And remember, every relationship is only ever an argument away from being over.

Flirty banter with him
Mila Kunis Friends With Benefits Beer Hanging Flirting GIF

But in an innocent, non home-wrecking slut kind of way.

Get fit while she gets fat
Arianny Celeste hot body fit girl work out bikini sexy gif

Girls in relationships tend put on weight. It’s only natural when every single date involves either a 3 course meal, cinema snacks or alcohol. The perks of being single is that you have extra time to get extra hot.

If all else fails & they’re really meant to be, all that’s left is to go all Adele on his ass.
Adele someone like you gif break up

Write a song about it. Make millions and pay for the psychiatric help you so obviously need.

The post Tired Of Being A Sidechick? 9 Steps To Eliminate His Girlfriend appeared first on Xclusive Touch.

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Are You Struggling To Find Out Where Your Boyfriends Been: His iPhone Has The Answers

Until this moment in history, if your boyfriend told you he “got drunk and stayed at his mates” last night, you had to believe it. If he told you that he couldn’t talk to you because he was “working late” you had to believe it.

If he told you he was replying slow because he was “at home playing Fifa” you had to believe it. But not any more.

Apple has once again invaded are personal privacy and for once, I think us ladies might not mind. Because thanks to a hidden function your boyfriends iPhone can tell you EXACTLY where he’s been and how long he spent there.

Shock system services gif blonde iphone

Every cheating boyfriend laughs at the fools who have “find my phone” tracker app on their phone and have been caught at the local Holiday Inn as opposed to as the pub where they claimed to have been, all the while not knowing that their phone has been keeping a perfect record of where they’ve been over the last month or so.

And all that golden information is just sitting there, waiting to be found by curious girlfriends the world over.

This feature gathers everything from where you go to where you sleep (ahem). According to Apple, this is done in order to “learn places that are significant to you” in order to help improve “predictive traffic routing”.

Well whatever their reason, this feature shows you exactly how many times you visit each location over the month, not to mention what time you got there are what time you left. Incriminating stuff for serial liars.

iPhone location tracker

So ladies and gentlemen… if you’re going somewhere you shouldn’t be, you might want to consider switching this feature off. And while you’re at it, turn your partner’s off too.

That way, when she reads this article, nabs your phone while you’re in the loo and confronts you with your non-existent location history you can insist yours must never have been turned on. Then casually add “your phone’s probably the same…” Trust me, she’ll check.

To turn this feature off go to: Settings – Privacy – Location Services – System Services – Frequent Locations – OFF.

Frequent locations iphone tracking location services

As a happy side note, Apple also added that: “for safety purposes, your iPhone’s location information may be used for emergency calls to aid response efforts regardless of whether you enable Location Services.” So basically you better hope your other half doesn’t work for the emergency services my friend, otherwise you’re ****ed.

The post Are You Struggling To Find Out Where Your Boyfriends Been: His iPhone Has The Answers appeared first on Xclusive Touch.

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