Husband Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All The Times She’s Denied Him Sex

Is your wife, lover or girlfriend denying you sex? Not quite sure how to let her know about your need for immediate action? Well this charmer has the answer, and apparently it’s Microsoft Excel.

This man decided to put together a spreadsheet, to inform his wife of how many times she’d denied him sex over 7 weeks, whilst also documenting every excuse she gave him over that period of time. Our favorite of which was “‘I just came back from the gym, I feel gross’ (didn’t shower until next morning)” and “I’m too drunk and ate too much” because… well who can’t relate to that.

sex-frequency-spreadsheet

He then emailed the document to his wife, who proceeded to upload it onto Reddit (as you do) where it went viral in no time at all.

The wife, (also known by her Reddit pseudonym throwwwwaway29) posted: “My husband sent me an immature, inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip. Now he has cut contact” followed by the attached Spreadsheet. She added: “According to his ‘document,’ we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 ‘attempts’ on his part.”

Well, if the figures are to be believed, Mr. throwwwwaway29 may have a little bit of a reason to be disgruntled. That being said, we think that when it comes to upping the passion and getting his wife into bed… the spreadsheet probably isn’t going to help.

So what can we learn from this? 1. After marriage you have an 89% sex failure rate 2. Watching “Friends” is an acceptable reason to bail out of sex 3. Don’t post about your sex life online, unless you want the whole world to see it.

Incidentally, the original post on Reddit seems to have now been locked.

As for the rest of us, we have to hope this little Excel fiasco doesn’t catch on and become the latest trend in getting wives, girlfriends and lovers the country over to drop the “I have a headache” excuse, in fear of being spreadsheet shamed.

The post Husband Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All The Times She’s Denied Him Sex appeared first on Xclusive Touch.

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What Is The World Coming To: Two Couples Snapped Having Sex Outside El Divino Nightclub

We thought we’d seen it all. First there was Dominic Celaire and the infamous staircase fiasco. Then there was the girl in Mafaluf who went down on 24 guys all for a free drink. Now there are these four, who thought it would be a fantastic idea to have sex in a car park outside El Divino nightclub in Belfast, Ireland.

Nightclub sex belfast car park Caught

This picture was taken by a stunned passer-by and depicts two girls astride two young men, having sex in public, mostly unfazed by their surroundings, one of them even checking her phone.

This snap of these two slightly too intimate couples having what appears to be sex outside El Divino was taken after a student night last Thursday.

El Divino nightclub belfast couple sex outside carpark

While we can’t actually confirm that these girls were doing anything other than innocently straddling two gentlemen with their mini dressed pulled up a little higher than they should be, those on social media had plenty to say about it.

It didn’t take long for the picture to go viral or for the s**t shaming to begin. Hundreds have taken to Twitter to express their disgust. One user Emma Rodriguez ?tweeted “Where’s Jesus when you need him? IMAGE”.

Leonie Miller tweeted “WTF is wrong with young people???????” and another user, Jessica added: “The two couples having sex next to each other in a Belfast carpark surrounded by people – does no one have any shame anymore!”

All in all it’s been a lot of bad press for Ireland as this photo follows the still recent video of a Northern Irish girl performing sex acts on 24 men during a pub crawl in Magaluf, which went viral just a couple of weeks prior to this.

Police said officers are not currently investigating the alleged incident. A spokesman told one newspaper: “We haven’t received any reports and aren’t investigating at this time.

The post What Is The World Coming To: Two Couples Snapped Having Sex Outside El Divino Nightclub appeared first on Xclusive Touch.

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